Men’s Grooming… And Hair

We ran out tonight to pick up some food to go. There was a small table with 2 chairs up near the register/pick up area so Dennis and I took seats. I turned in my chair and there was a tall man, mid 50’s standing directly to my right, almost facing me directly. I looked up and I thought I was staring at a push broom. No, he didn’t have a thick, suave 70’s-era mustache….he had wiry, long nose hairs that could almost be mistaken for ornamental landscaping. How can he not notice this (or feel it, especially on windy days?) Simply put, if your nose hairs dangle noticeably from your nostrils and you are not quite 80 years old, I am thinking it’s time to invest in a trimmer, or weed whacker for the nose. I was staring- and couldn’t figure out why. And wondering WHY no one close to this guy, in his family or circle of friends- never mentioned it to him. “Hey Joe, you think I can borrow the escape ladder one of these days?”

Then it got me to thinking: What other parts of the body resemble Sasquatch? Not just this poor, sorry soul, but other men out there in this big old hairy world? After dinner I started thinking about unruly body hair. (Not talking about manscaping….that could be an entirely different blog!)

We’ll start with the chest hair and back hair: If your hairs are long enough to braid on your chest, I am thinking this is an excellent time to whip out scissors and give yourself a trim. If you can braid corn rows into your back hair, you aren’t go to win any medals from the ladies………more likely you’ll attract bridge and tunnel dwellers who mistakenly think your back hairs are a sweater to nuzzle up against on a chilly night.

Now on to eyebrows: You should have two of them. Not just one long catepillar. Bert (from Sesame Street) comes to mind with the famous unibrow. I think I see why he never dated.

And we’ll just skip the ‘nether lands’. I’d rather not think of that after dinner!!


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