There are many journeys people go on in life. Some search for making the perfect cup of joe. You know, creating your own house blend melding the best single-origin coffee’s already melodic notes into a rich symphony. Others are looking for the Fountain Of Youth- that legendary spring that supposedly restores youth of anyone who drinks or bathes in it. Some women- men too- search high and low for antiaging serums that will attempt to rid their aging skin with something smooth as glass, just finding the correct amounts of retinol, strivectin and ferulic acids.
I have been on my own journey of sorts. I have been on this odyssey now for a year and have never been so worn out over it. My pilgrimage has been to find the perfect bra. Yes, that’s right, a super supportive bra that does what it say’s it will do. Which is: keeping my body parts (the girls) together and contained, when excercising my heart out. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about my chest. I was born with (or cursed with) a chest that is a little larger than some women (and also smaller than some women too). I take care of them, having mammograms every year, breast exams and checkups and I figure as long as they are still with me, and appear healthy and I am still active, I want to keep them ’rounded up’ (as in harnessed-in) when I am bouncing around and jumping around in the gym. As age has performed it’s wonders on my body, I think of the word GRAVITY: the natural force that tends to cause physical things to move towards each other. Move towards each other? More like moving towards the ground, like a ladder you see hanging out of a helicopter. On a good day!
I have schlepped across stores and spent so much time internet shopping and have purchased SO MANY flippin’ bras in the last year, and the money I have spent on them, I could have taken the family to Disneyland. (Slight exaggeration but not THAT far off). I’ve bought Glamorise, Playtex, a ‘too small’ Champion, Hanes, and Vanity Fair. When I found the Vanity Fair selection, I fell in love. Just enough spandex, underwire, thick straps, firm cups and everything fell in to place. Literally. If I jumped, they (my girls) jumped with me. If I lunged down quickly and back up again, they stayed put. I ran back to Kohl’s and picked up 3 more. Well, going to the gym 4 – 5 days a week and rotating them works…. to a point. But then wear and tear sets in and a few weeks ago I noticed the ‘girls’ were all over the place. I went to Kohl’s and spent a half hour looking through every rack in the place. I saw the Vanity Fair selection in a second part of the department and was foaming at the mouth, I swear to you. I rushed over there, nearly knocking down display racks and stopped dead in my tracks. Close but no cigar. The style I was looking for was no where to be found. I finally asked the associate who was nearby what was up? Where was my “SUPPORTIVE’ bra? The one that was a miracle to my heavy load? I gave her the style number and she said ‘We don’t carry them anymore. You might want to check online.’ I was about to smack her around (not really) and cry at the same time. I went home and looked online. There they were, but not in my size. I searched everywhere online, even good old Amazon and my perfect Vanity Fair bra was not to be in the cards for me.
It was about this time I was ready to speed on over to the craft store and buy some Plaster of Paris. You know- Plaster of Paris is a great material to use for basic sculptures. After I’d pick that up, I’d hit Home Depot for some cables and pulleys and head back home to fashion my own bra. Yeah, my idea was to use a couple of empty one gallon ice cream buckets, make a mold………. you get the idea. Nah, I decided to once again begin my journey for a supportive bra! After looking around online, I found a Glamorise bra that rambled on about it’s “patented magiclift no wire design”. Magic is definetely what ‘my girls’ need so I read reviews and was impressed. One woman wrote that she was “a 44FF and when she worked out her ‘parts’ didn’t budge, never moved.” (Wow, I’m liking this review). Another reviewer said something similar and I was giddily bouncing in my chair at the computer. I have spent $25.00 – $45.00 and more PER BRA over the last year, so another $30. wasn’t going to kill me.
My Magiclift bra arrived last week and I could see instantly that THIS was a huge waste of money. No underwire (which I already knew about), no spandex, no thick straps, no back support, no nothing! Calm down Lori, think positive, is what I was saying to myself. I put the thing on and went to Zumba. Now let me say this: Zumba is very HIGH IMPACT. High Impact refers to continuous high energy activities that usually take both of the excerciser’s feet off the floor at the same time. After 15 minutes of wearing this ineffective contraption, my feet weren’t the only thing that was being lifted off the floor! I could have gone braless because this bra was useless. Those women who wrote the reviews must have been sniffing glue or smoking crack (or had ties to Glamorise) because if you are a full figured gal with a 40+ chest size, this SPORTS BRA was like wearing a kleenex tissue.
Yesterday I was in the Walmart Supercenter and when I was done grocery shopping, I took a spin through the bra department. What the heck, I KNOW there’s isn’t anything in there for me, especially their sports bra aisle (which is sad because it’s a large aisle with a big selection…. if you don’t need any support). They don’t offer too many sports bras for fuller figure chests that are supportive. At least in the past they haven’t. But I pushed my cart through the section and wasn’t expecting to find anything. Lo and behold, I saw this black bra dangling before my eyes and IN MY SIZE. I got closer and noticed it was sturdy, pretty thick fabric and had underwire. Underwire! It was the ONLY one in that style, in my size, sitting there. Hmn…meant to be? I bought it for a fraction of what I have forked out over the last year and wore it today. I jumped up, my chest went with me in the correct direction…. always a plus in my book. I spun to the right and guess what? The ‘girls’ went to the right, not left and north. I sure hope I can find this style again. SUPPORT! My search for SUPPORT was at Walmart.