Inch By Inch


April 25, 2017

I survived the first month since surgery and am still learning how everything’s working.  Since surgery day on March 24 – but in reality only the last 2 weeks–  I have lost 21 pounds (total of 63 since December.)  I am still grasping the concept of sip, sip sipping and eating a part of a scrambled egg, or tuna fish with bites no bigger than a peanut. (That is HARD to accomplish when at one time I could inhale my entire meal in under 10 minutes. I have never been a slow eater that I can recall in my life.)  Now it’s “lift your spoon, take a tiny morsel into your mouth, set down spoon, rest a minute, and repeat. And repeat.”  Luckily, I  can only manage a little more than 1/4 cup at a time or I would be sitting there for an hour.  (I’ve had close to a half cup of soup with no problems, but I had nothing in my stomach in the four hours previously before eating.) As it is now, with my 1/4 cup, I am sitting at the table 20 minutes.  I knew all of this though.  It was explained to me  at length, along with how my eating habits would change, how to avoid causing pain and vomiting to myself, and just understanding my “new normal.”

I walk two miles a day and am trying to increase it to a half mile,  but the Las Vegas winds are howling now in April and I will not walk outdoors in that weather. I am going to start back at the gym very soon… getting my OK (I hope) tomorrow at my one month follow up appointment with the surgeon.

Inch by inch my body is becoming smaller. I have lost 25″ so far (mainly between my waist and chest… and fat ass) and have only picked up a couple pairs of smaller shorts and a few t shirts. Dennis has told me to go buy clothing and I have been hesitant but he insisted that I go out and get things for Mother’s Day. Oh, OK… I can do that. So off I went today to Target and I almost had tears in my eyes after picking things off the racks, trying them on and they fit. My waist size is down something like 13 inches. I have not been able to buy clothing from the regular woman’s department in about 5 years.  I had my shopping cart filled and I kept looking at the merchandise staring up at me with size “L” for tops (instead of 2x and 3x) and kept thinking “No, I should put these back and go over to the PLUS size around the corner.”  Then I remembered I had just tried on the tops, in LARGE, and they fit. I didn’t want to get too much, because this is just the beginning. I’ll have to pack these up soon too and donate them to Safe Nest (like the things in my closet are awaiting for pick up now.)

This surgery was the right thing for me to do, hands down. I’m not saying it’s easy because there have been some so-so moments where I just want it to fast forward until mid summer, when I can try to eat solid foods again (as in a nice piece of rotisserie chicken  (my 2 oz) and a side of broccoli or asparagus or cucumber salad.)  Right now, it’s a scrambled egg,  soup, cottage cheese, pureed meats (no thank you), protein shakes and a bite of yogurt.  If I take one morsel of a bite too many, it’s almost like I swallowed a cup of nails. The pain is excruciating (along with instant vomiting.) There is NO warning. It just happens. Like I said, this is my new normal and I am learning each and every day. Inch by inch.