Seriously? Some WILD Addictions!

2/28/13

weird-body-hairs

I wouldn’t say I have any obsessions or addictions, maybe just some quirky habits. And then I don’t know if they would even fall into the quirky category. I have to shave my legs everyday……..no matter what. I have to brush my teeth a least eight times a day….. no matter what. (I have no idea why either). Then there’s Jenni, who has gallon size zip loc bags on her bed jammed packed with trash! This is certainly a quirk if I ever saw one. She waits for a piece of saran wrap to be tossed in the kitchen trash and she lunges for it as if the piece of plastic is a one hundred dollar bill. (It annoys Kimmi to the high heavens). Jenni HAS to have the foil lining on yogurt containers, sour cream containers, the empty plastic bag that cake mixes come in, pieces of scrap paper, and a ton of other odd ball things. I can not have a cotton ball in my bathroom, let alone a bag of them. Somehow, her radar beacon tunes in  and she knows if I have a brand new bag of cotton balls under my sink. She can’t grab the bag and trot off quick enough to her room, with her new found treasure. Then she’ll stuff the entire bag of cotton balls deep into her gallon zip loc bags that are already bursting at the seams. You touch the bags on her bed and she’ll shoot daggers at you. Yeah, I suppose Jenni is bordering the realm of having an addiction to collecting offbeat trash items but I figure it’s safe and she isn’t harming anyone.

The scenarios I have mentioned above are nowhere near as bizarre and crazy as what I am now going to get into. Crazy is putting it mildly. It’s one thing to be a total screwball, but it is another thing when you put your crazy ass hang ups on TV! You know how you hear someone state they “Love their car?” More than likely they admire their new vehicle, the smell of the upholstery, the new seats and shiny paint job. If you happen to ever watch ‘My Strange Addiction’ on TLC, you will soon see that there are people who truly are as ‘mad a a March hare’. There’s a 27 year old guy who loves his car. So much so that he has named the car ‘Chase’ and goes on dates with it. If that isn’t looney tunes enough for you, he also gets ‘intimate’ with it. Seriously? Get this man a straight jacket. Or a girlfriend! But that is not as whacked out as some of the other folks on this show who have some serious mental health ‘issues‘. Trust me when I say I am not mocking them (even though I sound like I am), it’s just that they are on a national TV show, waving their demented exploits for all to see, and I am just making some constructive criticism. (Sure, Lori, go with that one).

Let’s start with some women who have been profiled on this ‘out there’ show. There’s a 32 yr. old woman who has selpt with her blow dryer since she was 8. You may say, “So? What’s wrong with that?” HELLO! She sleeps with the blow dryer ON. She is concerned about burning herself or setting fire to the bed but can’t stop doing it. After 24 years , I’m thinking she is not going to cease on her own. Get her some help soon!

Most people are a bit finicky about the toilet paper they use, right? Not this gal: she eats a half a roll of tp everyday, no matter where she is (in her car, movies, restaurants). How or for that matter WHY, would you even stick a piece of toilet paper in your mouth to begin with. What, are you out of a stick of gum? Nothing say’s fresh breath like a roll of Charmin!

This next 26 year old named Nicole, probably doesn’t have too many friend’s over to visit. The walls in her home are filled with holes because, now get ready for this, she eats the freaking drywall! She snacks on it and consumes 3 square feet of drywall a week. Seriously? Just eat a rice cake for crying out loud!

Another young woman named Nicole enjoys a good deodorant. Not on the old armpits mind you. She eats it! She goes through 15 sticks a month! Where do these people get the craving for this stuff? I can’t wrap my brain around it. Most times I use it, I don’t care for the texture of it or the scent. That’s one of many things that aren’t going past these lips!

Speaking of snacking, you know when you watch a movie at home, there’s nothing like a freshly popped bowl of warm popcorn? Well Adele has been eating her couch cushions. COUCH CUSHIONS for God’s sake! She tears into the foam cushioning and noshes away. Been doing it for 20 years. What must her intestines be like? And what kind of money must she have to able to buy a couch every year or so? Crazy!

When I was having cravings for junk food over the years, I usually scarfed on M&M’s or cookies or chips. Not Bianca! As a child she ate dirt regularly and now craves pottery and ashes. (Watch out home and garden departments when she strolls on through!)  When she sees a cigarette being smoked, it’s the ashes she wants. She eats pottery and ashes more than food and water. Seriously? Apparently so.

I know I used to collect little stuffed animals for my kids when they were babies. Cute, and colorful and some were very life like. Well, there is a 28 year old woman who searches the roadways for dead animals. She drives the highways looking for road kill, then takes it home and puts the bodies in the freezer. That’s it. She has no taxidermy experience and has no plans to ‘stuff’ these critters. Just enjoys scouring the highways for dead squirrels and rabbits and rats. She needs more than a freezer my friend. She needs a good therapist!

I have never been a gal who owns a lot of shoes. Just not me. I do know some people go wild over owning dozens and dozens of all styles and types of shoes and have grand closets for these accessories. There is a woman named Rebecca who owns over 200 pairs of shoes and worries about them when she is away from them. C’mon! Are you serious? When ever she is away from home, she rushes back to her shoes to comfort them. What possibly could she want to comfort them over? Maybe some lint got on the patent leather? Seriously! And what is even more bizarre is that she gets a rush from it. A rush from talking to and seeing her shoes? Oh brother!

If you have broken teeth and stomach problems, one would assume you would curtail your diet in some way to avoid breaking you teeth and calming your stomach lining. There’s a  44 year old woman has been eating rocks for 20 years. (Her smile must be one attractive set of pearly whites… just saying). She munches through 700 pounds of stones a year. Can you honestly see some fruit-bat weighing their rocks before eating them? I had issues with jawbreakers as a kid. After the first two times of pain, I stopped eating them. But to go driving to another state (which this woman does) to look for rocks, is unimaginable to me.

There are so many more folks who are completely unhinged : a husband and wife who use coffee enemas- 7000 enemas in 2 1/2 years; a woman who consumes laundry dryer sheets daily and has been doing it for 4 years; and some 28 year old guy named Evan who goes to friends and family’s homes and- gross out moment here- pulls hair from their shower or bathtub drains. It’s disturbing enough that this guy LOOKS in your shower stall or tub, but pulling out the body hairs is so nasty in and of itself! He claims it relaxes him. He needs to be relaxed in a psych ward with some heavy duty drugs.

So with my giving thought to whether I have addiction or obsession issues, I know I don’t. And if I ever were to eat glass, bathe in bleach, lick a cat from head to toe, or wear a diaper and sleep in a crib, I give my family permission NOW to lock me up! What gives me the huge Creep Factor nudge with the people from the TV show, some have been doing these cracked-in-the-noggin antics for years and I don’t think a lot of them have sought help. They make the idiots from Jackass look like Einstein!

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